Guts and me

Things seems so slow down, except the age. But it is moving pretty fast around me. I would complete 4 years with Google in June. Time flew away..Good things happened, bad things happened, memorable things, adventurous things, dangerous things..However, life is more or less the same. With work and stress, bitching about managers and people with weird dressing sense. In this race, some people have decided to move ahead. People are leaving and doing their own things. Leaving for studies, for others jobs, for boredom or to just be for a while. I think it takes guts to leave, to accept or even imagine things to change. Some how, I don't like change. It is surprising that I adjust very well. But I just don't like it. I wish I had the courage to leave everything behind and do something that I really wanna do. I guess that is the other problem. I don't know what I wanna do so I'm holding on to what I've.

I sit and wonder if someone could tell you what to do ? I wish for an imperfect world with more perfections. I feel tired and stressed but I can't afford to stop. I don't any vacation or so called break can help it. I just wanna do what I really wanna do? Have a passion, a dream. A destination to look forward to. Sigh..Wish someone can help..Wish I had more guts to force myself to discover things and figure life out. Till the time I do it...

CJ